I See You . . .

I found out on Christmas Eve that Edward's Mommy used to call him Pickle Puss when he was little because he loved eating pickles . . .

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE go make fun of him!

Just click here and tell him his Doll sent you!

Thank you!

M ~ aka ~ Bitch

:)

I came home,

ate dinner,

got the boy washed up,

made sure he did his homework,

picked out his clothes for school tomorrow,

put him to bed,

wrapped the rest of my xmas presents,

did the dishes,

straighten up my home,

even put away the shoes.

It's now 8:16pm . . .

AND I'M SO FUCKING BORED!@#$%

How did this shit happen?

Am I really this big of a loser?

Fuck this!

I'm going out for a cigarette.

Maybe I'll take some pictures while I'm out there freezing my fat-ass off.

M

Badgers are mean.

They like throwing salt at wounded animals.

Ouch.

~ M ~


P.S. I get it.

I had posted this about a year ago but felt the need to post it again. Sometimes the greatest lessons come in the form of childrens books. Adults should read them more often. This is one of my son's favorite stories and mine too. ♥

Three Nasty Gnarlies
Featuring Snooty Judy Butterfly



By Keith Graves


Three Nasty Gnarlies
Perched atop a clump
Practicing a gnarly tune
Heard throughout the dump.

Grubby Gurgle sang soprano,
Stanky Stoo sang bass,
Oooga-Mooga stomped her feet
And yodeled just in case.

“Oh, we are Nasty Gnarlies,
We like to make a mess.
Getty stuck in yucky muck
Is what we like the best?”

“We’re fabulously smelly.
Like pungent potpourri
What could be more beautiful
Thank nasty gnarly we?”

But Snooty Judy Butterfly
Heard their happy song.
“Did someone mention beauty?”
She sniffed. “You’ve got it wrong!”

“You Gnarlies are not beautiful.
You exude a rank bouquet.
You’re untidy, and your style
Is oh so tres passé!”

“You mean I’m stinky?” Stanky gasped.
“I never would have guessed!”
“I’m not gorgeous?” Grubby cried.
“I’m a lumpy, frumpy mess?”

Ooga-Mooga drooled and sobbed,
And chewed her favorite shoe.
The Nasty Gnarlies begged for help.
“Whatever can we do?”

“Oh, pooh! I’ve hurt your feelings.
But things are not so bleak.
You simply need to spiffy up!
I’ll show you my technique.

“Though I am now exquisite,
PERFECT, I confess.
One I was a muddy worm,
A peasant bug no less.”

How’d you change?
Was it face cream?
Did you get a perm?
Did you use some special grease to wash off all the germs?

“No. No. It was quite easy.
I wrapped myself in silk.
When springtime came, I flew away -
My body was rebuilt.”

So Snooty Judy said goodbye
To the grateful grungy three.
The each one said, “It worked for HER -
But will it work for ME?”

They wrapped themselves in bits of junk
And dangled from the trees.
They slept and dreamt of butterflies
Floating in the breeze.

Then one day in early May,
Gurgle wriggled free.
Next came Stoo,
Then Ooga-Mooga fell out of the tree.

“Oh, look at us! We’re butterflies!
So dainty and petite.”
They flapped their arms and tried to fly,
Then plopped down in a heap.

“Something’s wrong,” said Stanky Stoo
With sorrow in his eyes.
“The beauty treatment failed
To make us metamorphosis!

“We don’t look like Judy!”
The grimy trio shrieked.
“There’s no beauty in our bodies -
No suave on our physiques!”

Then Ooga-Mooga had a thought.
“Could Judy have it wrong?”
“Our beauty IS our gnarliness.
We were pretty all along!”

“I like that though,” said Grubby.
“Our funk is quite divine!
I don’t want to be a butterfly,
I’d rather bathe in slime!”

“I gotta be ME!” sang Stanky,
“My gnarly fumes are strong!
We’re nastier than ever now.
Let’s sing our favorite song!”

“Oh, we are Nasty Gnarlies.
We’re dirty and we reek.
We’re gloopy-gloppy-glamorous.
We’re positively chic.

Grubby, Stanky, Ooga-Mooga,
Rolling in stromboli,
Rocka, rumba, floobie flow,
Nocka wocka moly,”
 
And though the Nasty Gnarlies
Are Nasty Gnarlies still,
They see themselves as beautiful
As summer daffodils.

~ The End ~